Four

January 12, 2051- 9105 Graycastor Run Rd.; Faulk, Pleasantview
 
Kvornan did not self-examine very often these days. The panoptic reality of Alexei Garrison left little room for self-examination. But treading backwards across the shag carpet of a donor house with Alexei fast at his toes lead Kvornan as much to an epiphany as to an actual, physical destination. He felt awkward. He felt awkward and try as he might, he could not recall the last time this emotion beat its powdered wings against his ribcage, made his pulse race and his footing precarious. Therein lay the realization: If he was only just this moment rediscovering awkward then how many other simple human emotions had he lost over the years?
 
As Kvornan's back approached the door to what he suspected would be his room for the night, he imagined the act of taking a donor. The unwritten social contract that must exist for these arrangements was a perfect mystery to him. He imagined fumbling through the act like a teenager reaching third base but upon reflection, that was not what worried him. What worried him was Alexei's babbling, which he had stopped listening to over half a minute ago and worse, the smile that went along with it. When Alexei was teasing, his face lit up like some kind of sugar-coated jack-o-lanturn, spewing gum drops and rainbows from its roughly hewn orifices. Either Alexei was grotesque for all of his sunshine or Kvornan was assigning traits that were not really present. More likely the latter.


 
"Here we are, nice and cozy!" Alexei reached for the doorknob behind Kvornan's back and leaned his weight forward just close enough to force Kvornan into the room. Kvornan took a few faltering steps backward, oscillating between timidity and indignation.
 
The room smelled like aerosol spray and cigarettes. A cursory glance over his shoulder revealed furniture that seemed to be outfitted for a teenage girl. For the first time, Kvornan wondered who lived here. Were they human? Vampire? Did their secret smoker daughter hide somewhere in the house while it buzzed with consensual abuse? Out of the corner of his eye, Kvornan saw a figure on the bed that he knew to be female but he refused to look at her properly. It felt indecent to look.


 
"Now you be gentle with him, Leah. He's as fresh as a newborn lamb," Alexei shouted towards the bed. A dark and somewhat agitated Townie woman tugged on the back of Alexei's shirt in a bid for his attention. He swatted at her without turning and tipped an imaginary hat at Kvornan as he closed the door behind himself. For a moment, Kvornan stared blankly at the peeling paint on the door. As he reached out towards the handle, a voice floated up from the bed.
 
"You know, you can come over here if you want. I don't bite." Kvornan tried the handle but the knob was loose and the barrel spun, unfastening nothing. "I'm Leah. What's your name?" she pressed. Kvornan let go of the door and turned around, defeated.



The woman on the bed was of indeterminate age, with platinum white hair and fine creases at the edges of her eyes. He used to see this often in his subalterns. Constant feeding prematurely aged the body. Judging by her appearance, he thought that she had three to five more years of life expectancy left at her rate of energy loss.
 
"Vincent." His murmured name was so feeble that it surprised him. He gestured towards the door. "Glad to meet you but I should get going." Leah tossed her hair over her shoulder in a way that was both subtle and inviting. He could smell her now, masked beneath the more corporeal fragrances of the room. Leah's blood smelled of a temple service to the Ba-- vetiver, balsam, sandalwood, resin. It was a bit disorienting for Kvornan who had not seen the inside of a temple in years.
 
"Stay." Her voice was soft, almost seductive.



Kvornan stammered for a moment. Meanwhile, Leah looked at him like a child who was expected to recite his lesson. Perhaps she truly believed that he was young. That would be for the best. An older vampire coming out of the woodwork for the first time would arouse suspicion. Who made him? Where did he come from? Where did he feed and from whom? Kvornan could not afford to tell the truth but he was too headstrong to lie. Alexei knew as much.

When they first arrived, Alexei introduced Kvornan as his "first act of biological warfare against the Fae race". No one questioned whether Kvornan was Alexei's spawn or even if Alexei had the right to spawn. Nor did they question the identity of Vincent Randall the 32-year-old halfling from Kent. It was Kvornan's understanding that the Garrisons were in Cade Muenda's confidence. As a result, Alexei's words and actions went unchallenged.

It took a considerable amount of willpower for Kvornan to make it over to the bed beside Leah. Truth be told, he was hungry and he did want her. She began to loosen the laces on her blouse.

"Why do you do this?" He spoke in order to stall the inevitable as much to hear her reponse. She stopped what she was doing.



"Do you mean me specifically or donors in general?" Kvornan ran his thumb along the ridges of his own wrist, hunger needling his veins.

"Both, I guess," he said. Leah leaned back, taking him in.

"Well some donors-- a lot of donors, really-- do it because it makes them feel special. You know?"

"How so?" Leah shrugged at the question, glancing briefly over Kvornan's shoulder.

"We know a side of human nature that all those normals out there with their nine to five jobs and two point three children can scarcely imagine. That makes us better, smarter." Leah paused to pull up a fallen shoulder strap. "Personally, I couldn’t care less about getting to know you or any other vampire. No offense, I just don’t feel like I have to delude myself into thinking that I know what your life is like day to day or even that knowing gives me more insight into the universe. Not that I feel the need to know the universe better. Fuck the universe. What has it ever done for me? I’m a donor because I like to forget. That’s it, pure and simple. Are you going to help me forget, Vincent?"



He locked eyes with her. For a brief and painful moment, he felt like he knew this woman. He studied her face, trying to imagine it before the ravages of her weakened life force but he could not. Her weathered body was as much a part of her as what shattered soul sat enthroned at the heart of it. Leah was ruined. Numb. Just like him. In a more perfect world, he would have the option to forget too. And he would take it.

Kvornan ran his fingers through her heavily starched hair, moving closer to her on the bed. Donation was a filthy, sordid thing but he saw now that it was not so cruel as his initial impression. To walk away, leaving her with her thoughts would have been the cruel thing to do.

Leah grabbed the back of his neck, urging him towards some semblance of life.